Updates, and Emotions

I have been very emotional today. I think all the meds, the constant blood work and ultrasounds are finally catching up to me. My poor arms look like I have been shooting up, and I guess you could say I have been doing the exact opposite. The nurse said it is from taking a baby aspirin everyday, and from having a blood draw every day or two. I also have a huge bruise on my belly from the injections last night, it is so big that James thought that I had spilled ink on my belly. I had an ultrasound and blood work today, and I guess everything is going well. I have 25 follies on my right side and one is 10.5mm while the rest are still less than 8mm. I have 30 follies on my left side but all of them are less than 8mm. I don't really know if that is good, bad, or normal. The nurse didn't seem to concerned today when I talked with her, I just hope we have more that decide to blossom. I know it only takes one embryo, but I guess I would like to have the option of more than one developing. Our hope is that I can produce enough eggs, and we can create enough embryos that we will not have to do the stim meds again when we want to have more kids, or if we have to try again. I would perfer to not have to do the stim meds again, they really are not a lot of fun. Although it is funny how you make all the shots just another part of your day. I don't even really think about it anymore. 8:45p rolls around, and everything in our house stops for about 15 mins, I get all my meds together and James is ready to inject.

I seemed to really be in a funk today. I was having a hard time getting baseball tickets, and that just kind of pushed me over the edge. I was ruined for the rest of the day, and it was over something so stupid. It seemed like no matter what I did I couldn't get myself to go past the ticket mix-up. Then all of the doubt started to kick in. I started to question if we were doing the right thing, if I was progressing the way I should, what would happen if . . .. My mind was a mess today. I always say that I have so much fun in my head, but today just was not a fun day. I fortunately have a wonderful husband who altered our plans for the evening so I could curl up into a ball and just relax on the couch. He even stopped at the store to pick up a wonderful dose of chocolate cake. I think you can fix almost anything with chocolate cake. I think that was just what I needed. I spent some time with James and we had a nice long talk. I really feel better about everything, and I am excited to go for my blood work and ultrasound tomorrow. Hopefully they will have more news about my follies tomorrow, and we can move closer to a retrieval date.

I did come across a great scripture verse today, as I was searching to see if I was in the normal zone, and I just know that God put that in front of my eyes today.

"But these things I plan won't happen right away. Slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow, be patient! For it will surely take place. It will not be late by a single day."
Habakkuk 2:3

What a great reminder of who is really in control.

Thank you for your prayers and support.