Seasons

I was reading a devotional the other day that was all about life seasons. It was such a perfect devotion for me that day. And it has come back into my mind today. This is a new season for James and I, and anytime you do something new you are not quite sure how to proceed. So far I have been doing really well with everything, but today was not a banner day. I know that this season will have its own share of ups and downs, and just as I learn to navigate them they will change, but such is life. I have been so tired and I am pretty sure it is from the meds, but when you are having a hard time getting to and from work it becomes a big problem. I am so tired that I am getting grumpy and super emotional. I yelled at James this morning for something that was really nothing. Then when I got home tonight I started to cry for no reason. I am just a mess today! I hope that this is not the norm and is just a reflection of my crazy busy week at work. Wishful thinking I guess.

This season has thrown some curve balls my way, but overall James and I are navigating pretty well. I like the seasons, they bring change and a new perspective. I love the fall, the colors the smells, and of course the cider mills. I love the winter for that first smell of snow, and the beauty that it brings when everything has a nice new white blanket on it. Spring is great because it brings new life, the cold goes away and the grass starts to grow. Softball begins and so does spring training! Summer of course is great, trips to the beach, picnics, long drives and just some good old pokin' around. I am sure I will come to love this season just as much as the others. I can already tell that our marriage is getting stronger. James has been so wonderful through everything. Try giving me a shot every night! I know today was just the rain storm that forces you inside on a day you have a full schedule. This to shall pass. I know that God has a wonderful plan for us, and this is just a bump. You always have to look for the upside!

Amanda

Going to the Gym for energy?

So the whole no coffee thing is going better than I thought, except that I realized that the tea I was drinking was not any better. I have switched to decaffeinated tea and I thought I was tired last week, but man today was rough! I am just so sluggish, I don't want to do anything after work, except lay on the couch. That sounds horrible when I read that. I have been doing weight watchers for about 2 months, and I am doing really good, but I need to add more exercise into my day. It is so hard when you are so tired. I know that "they" say that if you exercise you will have more energy, but what are you supposed to do when you don't have any energy to spend? I don't like feeling so tired and during the day it isn't bad, but come 630p or 7p I am so ready for bed. I think I am getting old! Fortunately for me James is a good motivator. We are going to the gym tonight and hopefully I can get a good workout going.

The shots are going fine. They still itch when we do them, but the last day or two it has only lasted for a few minutes. I have a big bruise on my belly from one of the injections and it hurts. I am excited for this Saturday. I have an appointment, and if everything looks good I can start the next set of meds. I am ready to get started and get the big boxes of meds out of my bathroom!

Well it is off to the gym for me.

Thank you everyone for your prayers,

Amanda

Cutting Back

Well I am very pleased to report that last nights injection was so much better than the previous one. Fortunately for James and myself the side effects have not started to kick in, and I so hope that they do not. The only thing I have been noticing is that I have been really tired lately. I don't think it is from the meds, but I have been falling asleep by 10pm almost every night. We do the injections at 10p and I have to fight to stay awake the last few days. I don't think that I am stressed about anything, and actually God has given me so much peace through all of this. I have read that stress and caffeine can be a hindrance to the whole process.

I really don't feel stressed but the whole not having coffee is really a killer. I put coffee right up there with oxygen, the world would not survive without coffee. I have been slowly switching over to tea, and fortunately I really do like tea so it hasn't been to bad. But let me tell you tea is NOT the same as coffee. If you come to our house you will see how much coffee plays a part in my daily life. I am not complaining about not being able to drink coffee for a while, as our goal is so much more important than a cup of coffee. I am just saying that I am missing seeing my friend in the morning. I will miss you coffee, and sometimes I will visit, but only for a short stay. Tea land here I come!!!

One Down Many, Many More to Go

Well tonight James and I had our first official injection. Man let me tell you it isn't as bad as I thought it would be, but it wasn't any better either. We had a quiet time of prayer before the injection, and then we prayed together. We asked God to bless the injection and to help the medicine work as He has designed. I am confident that as we continue the injections they will get easier. And let me tell you that I sure hope they get easier. We are just dealing with the baby needles right now, I can't even think about bringing out the big guns. I was almost in tears today, man I am going to be a wreck when the big guy comes out! I don't know what a normal insulin injection fells like, but I want to scratch my belly so bad right now, and sometimes I swear that the medicine is leaking out. I know it is all in my head, but I have a wonderful imagination and can make almost anything seem real if I try hard enough.

There isn't much more to report. My class came to an end today, so I have some finals to grade, and now my Thursdays will be free for a bit. Softball starts in a couple of weeks and we will be busy again. Yes, I am going to play softball, but don't worry it will only be until my transfer date and then I will just be the coach. It is going to be really hard to not run onto the field, but I have to be safe with myself and allow that baby to stick and grow!

Thank you all for your continued prayers,

Amanda

Needles and Procedures

Well it has been an interesting few months at the Clouse house. We are currently in the process of starting IVF (in vitro fertilization). It is not quite as easy as I thought it would be. I have done all of the testing, I actually just had the last one today. Everything is all set for us to get started, and the nerves had not kicked in till yesterday. Yesterday I had to pick up all of my meds and the sheer number of them freaked me out a bit. I start the Lupron tomorrow and the needle is about the same size as a insulin needle. I know all of you diabetics are saying I am being such a baby, but coming from a girl who had to be restrained by many, many nurses any time there was a needle, this is a BIG deal. I have to take the Lupron for almost two weeks and then I get to add another needle. OUCH! If everything goes according to plan we will be having our embryo transfer by the middle of May. Which means James could end up having the best birthday gift ever. And if our test is positive, which we believe it will be it will also be the most expensive gift ever!

James and I are very blessed to have so much support around us. This is probably the hardest thing we have ever done, and knowing we have family and friends who love us makes it so much easier. We plan to keep this updated as we progress and if you want to keep up with us that would be great. The more prayers we have the better. God does amazing things and He is in control of our lives, and we WILL have a baby.

Welcome

Well I guess you could say I am officially on the blog bandwagon! I thought this might be a little easier to get updates out to everyone and that way you can leave comments and such.