Crazy Days

This week has been a trip. I don't think I have been having any noticeable symptoms, but the last two days I was a mess. It all started Wednesday when I stopped to get ice cream after church. I tired to call James a few times and he wasn't answering, I got my ice cream and some for him and was on my way home. By the time I got home the ice cream had started to melt and some had spilled all over my pants. Then James asked where I was and why I didn't answer my phone. I thought I was going to explode, I started to yell and slammed the door. I totally realized that I was being crazy and after a few minutes and some ice cream I was back on Earth. I apologized to James and that started a whole discussion that lead to a lot of tears and another minor freak out on my part. Poor James and no idea what was happening and I didn't either. I have no rational explanation for my actions and I actually felt totally out of control.

Now turn to Thursday. We had a softball game last night, and of course James and I were running late to the game. I completely misplaced all of my softball info and had no idea where I was supposed to be or what field. Then we had to stop and get money to pay the umpire. We made it to the field just a few minutes before game time. Two of my players were in jeopardy of not being able to play and the umpire was giving me a hard time for not having everyone on the field to play in time. I think I snapped at the umpire but I am hoping that I wasn't to awful to him. By the time to game actually stated I was sobbing like a baby. Why? I have no idea! I was more mad than anything but instead of it spewing out anger like Wednesday, it all came flooding out like a little kid who doesn't get their way.

Before we left for the game on Thursday I noticed that I had some light spotting. It really freaked me out so of course I started to Google my brains out. That is why we were running late to the game. Most of the info that I was able to gather was a mixed bag of good and not so good signs. Who really knows. The only thing that I can say from all of my Googling is that no two people have the same issues. I did read on a lot of sites that some spotting is totally normal, but you have to keep an eye on it to make sure it doesn't become heavier. I have not called the doctors office, and really don't plan to. I figure at this point there really isn't anything they can do. I already have an appointment for Tuesday morning, so I just have to hang on until then. We have a busy weekend planned so I am hoping that will keep my mind busy.

James and I have decided to not take any home pregnancy tests before the blood work on Tuesday. We figured that the test might not be accurate and we don't want to get a false positive or a false negative. It is torture waiting, and more than anything I want to test to know what is going on. I am so close to Tuesday, just a few more days!

Amanda